I feel a little bit overwhelmed by the goodness of 2015. A little bit undeserving, a little bit stressed out, very grateful and a touch pissed off. I am a medley of emotions and not really sure what to do with myself.
I talked a little bit about how difficult 2014 was. I also talked about how I was going to make a change in January, and try out some new resolutions (goals), and I was going to make them a heck of a lot more realistic.
Well, halfway through January, a job opportunity landed in my lap: a part-time one. I applied, and after a few weeks, was offered the job. There was no hesitation. And now, I’m working 20 hours as a communications coordinator and freelancing another 20 hours a week. I’m still in the midst of my second week in this new schedule, but it’s different. It feels so good.
I did something in January and February that I haven’t really done in a while—I put some serious effort into my life. I stopped eating so much junk. I bought a hula hoop (and, um, I can do some sweet tricks… 50% of the time. The other 50% of the time, I hit myself in the face). I read more. I called my loved ones even when I didn’t want to, because it always makes me feel better. I finished up a short story, worked hard on some writing. I started to send out queries.
In hindsight, it is no wonder that 2014 sucked so damn much. I didn’t try very hard. I tried hard at some things—at work, and with Jacob—but there were so many factors that I let stop me. The seas were too stormy, so I decided I’d just drown instead of try. Maybe it was a necessary thing. It’s hard to be productive in the middle of an existential crisis.
The point is, I’ve been putting a bit of elbow grease into my life (as my dear friend Kim says). And I’m seeing such a difference. Even before I was offered and took the new job, I was able to handle things better, because I was working toward something and I had set these small goals in place that I knew were going to make a difference in my life.
I don’t know exactly what my dreams are yet (especially when it comes to my career), other than the vague and seemingly impossible (become a great writer and always keep learning), but I feel like I am heading out of a fog and toward something clearer.
I recommend this, friends.
p.s. Nicole’s blog, where I got my New Year’s Resolutions worksheet from, has some seriously inspiring and helpful articles. Go. Read. Enjoy.